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Poem
07:03 Dec 27 2005
Times Read: 529

God, give me some rest

Give me the strength to run

To leap above the rest

To scream my rage at the silence

To breathe once again



I want to reside within myself once more

I want to know that I am the only one

I cannot survive on the shit you give me

I will not take your crap anymore from you

So give me my Vindication

Because you're going to be fucked up tomorrow



I can't pretend anymore

I can't smile at mundanes

And look like I give a shit

What kind of person pretends what they aren't

Who gives a fuck if you're lonely?

Who really cares if the bridge doesn't make sense?



I won't smile to make you happy

I won't give two shits if you drop dead

In fact I WANT you dead but it won't happen

I'm not that damn lucky but holy fuck

It would be a relief of stress to me and mine



So let me rail at the stones who take it all

At the wind that snatches my screaming

At the light that feeds my rage, the pain

And give me something I've been asking for

Demanding for o long but never begging for

Your Fucking Death,







Now Drop Dead, you asshole....

Simple... No one Like You
19:51 Dec 12 2005
Times Read: 534




No one ever like you

No one comes even close

Sometimes, like you do over her

I do over you, sit and sulk

Wishing, remembering

The fights we had, the love we shared

OUr passions, our understanding

Romantize it all? Yes, yes I do

But I know also, that I would give none of it up



Everything came at a price

That price was my heart

I felt you failed me

In some ways you did

You failed to really care any more

To show beyond what I asked

As if the effort cost you more than you could do

So it cost you my presence, my love

I would have stayed if I'd known

That you wanted me there



Only afterwards did you say so

It's so amusing, in a bitter way,

that we only understand what we've lost

When it's gone



That I feel now

I catch myself looking for you

Trying to find you when I know

It's impossible for you to be here

With me, or talking to me because life goes on

We walk seperate paths, but I hope

I scream almost for you to find me

Or for me to find you, to stumble on you

But it's too late. Too long gone.

I'm crying for a past I only realise now

Made me happy, six years on, and I'm weeping



The memories are all I have

I think of you and become dizzy

I lose myself in what you were to me

What you weren't and how you fought to find me

I wish I had realised then what I do now

But that is the perfection of hindsight

The bitter knowledge of something good lost

What will I do now? Now you're gone?

I don't know. Wish you happiness perhaps

Be a champion about it

Not cry over it, nor mutilate myself

Over something I have no control over



Move on? Yes, but that wound won't ever quite heal

Won't ever quite pull itself together and give me the peace I crave

I do not want to forget, Like I could!

But I wish I wasn't tortured, tormented by you

You gave my love, I gave you love

You gave me hate, I gave you hate

I think.. we are equal now..





I'm lost without you.

Maybe it will work out in some other lifetime, when we can really see the future before it ends like this and becomes too late to do anything, too far beyond our reach to try again...







*sighs*



I still love you, I think I always will.

I just have to move on, because it's ended.

But my heart is still bleeding... has been since I said "It's over..."



What I fool I was then, still am now.

Bitten
03:06 Dec 10 2005
Times Read: 539




Bitten



Bitten



Bitten





God.

I'm cold

Freezing bitten and alone

I've been left to my devices

My own sordid vindicated vices

I can see the world and it's teeth

It's howling my name out to the top



I don't understand why it's so evil

I don't understand all of this any

Can someone explain why it is

Can someone show me why

Can't breathe or move

Why it's so cold,

So alone

Bitten





Bitten



Bitten



Bitten

Shadows Are Everywhere
02:55 Dec 10 2005
Times Read: 540

Never Give me time

Never give me light

I can't stand either

And they do burn so

I'm bleeding from the inside

Your poison is killing me

Well done your pathetic life is longer

Than mine which you ended



I've had enough

I'm leaving and going for good

Let's turn the tables shall we?

End this life shall we?

Whatever came to pass has left

And taken me with it

Left you out and alone

Obsessive Unnatural creatures

That you are to me

Give me my Vindication!

Death =
11:38 Dec 03 2005
Times Read: 542

Kindest regards to My Vanessa....



My head was pounding,

I longed for your touch,

But now I can’t feel you,

I still want to so much.



Where once I stood,

Now I will lie,

Under the ground,

Yet up in the sky.



In a place of quiet solitude,

I am forever doomed,

Here I will stay,

Where I am entombed.